I’m Still Fucking Raging

I meant to put this up last night but I forgot. Then I fell asleep. I’m old these days. My bad…

I never thought I was one of those girls that would dwell on a fight and let it fester for days before blowing into an almighty drama. It would turn out that I am one of these girls, however; especially with Jock.

I haven’t spoken to him since she put that Facebook post up yesterday. Well, I sent him one message in response to his abrupt “Afternoon” today saying that I was busy and my phone had been on charge. It wasn’t and I wasn’t. I’m fucking raging. I’m pretty sure he knows it too. He just doesn’t know why.

I called my Mama Bear tonight, just to make sure that I wasn’t overreacting. I’m not. He’s being a prick. And she’s gonna get my fist through her face if she carries on. Gosh, doesn’t she bring out the worst in me?

I’m not really one to shy away from a fight. I’m more timid these days, but once my adrenaline is  pumping, I can be just as scrappy as the next chav. If I have to play child and give her hell via Facebook message, I’ll stoop to that level. She doesn’t want him. She didn’t want him. He’s mine now. FUCK OFF!

Honestly, he should know better too. It’s just weird, the way she still relies on him so much. Christ, cut the apron strings already. Give him up. You’re engaged to someone else! Which brings me nicely to my next point… Doesn’t her fella think this is a bit weird? Maybe he doesn’t know how often she’s calling her ex-fiance. The times that she has clicked her fingers, Jock has told me that she’s said something along the lines of “He’s out so we can have a chat” or whatever.

I genuinely don’t think there is anything going on here. I certainly don’t think they are sleeping together. I know she broke his heart into a thousand different pieces, and although I think there’s a special place in his heart for her, I don’t class her as a threat. I class her as a pain in my ass.

I don’t know why she gets to me so much. I wish I did. Every time I so much as hear her name, my blood boils. It irritates me to hear he is with her. I think she is a poor excuse for a woman and despite all the “I’m a strong woman” bullshit she tries to put across, she’s weak because she relies on a man so heavily. Two men in fact. Hers and mine.

I really don’t know what to do about this. Clearly this fight is going to happen between Jock and I – I’m still raging 24 hours later. The only problem is I sound just as ridiculous as she is. What the fuck am I meant to say to him? “Yeah, so, I’m annoyed because I went to congratulate The Redneck on Facebook for getting married, and saw that your ex had already tagged you in a post!” C’mon, that shit sounds ridiculous.